Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Platform Building Challenge-- Short Story






Our first challenge for the Platform Building Crusade is to write a short story/flash fiction piece of 200 words or less beginning with the words "The door swung open."  For added difficulty, you can end with "The door swung shut"  and be exactly 200 words. 

I decided to go for all of it.  Here is what I hope will find its way toward the end of one of my WIP's based on a reverse Sleeping Beauty idea.  If you like it, you can "like" it here! (I am number 199)




The door swung open, and Kaylee peered inside, breath hitching as she found Devlin, perfectly still and white as the sheets tucking him into the four-poster bed. A tear slid down her cheek, and she dashed it away. Arabella thought she could keep them apart, but although her spell had been strong enough put Devlin and much of the kingdom to sleep, it wasn't enough to conquer true love.

Slippered feet silent on the wood floor, Kaylee hurried to the bedside, pulling out a strange vial. Blood from the Golden Dragon mixed with the purple elixir from the wise woman formed an antidote for the spell. At least in theory it did.

Hand shaking, Kaylee wiggled out the stopper, hesitating as she held the vial to Devlin's lips. There was no guarantee what she was about to do would work. If it didn't, she would live out the remainder of her days in the dungeon.

With a quick prayer, Kaylee tipped the strange liquid into Devlin's mouth. Nothing happened. Kaylee leaned her cheek against his, wishing his eyes open as a single tear trickled onto his lips. The chime of a crystal bell filled the room and the door swung shut.

10 comments:

  1. The last paragraph is beautiful.

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  2. Hello there, fellow campaigner! I must echo Angelina-lovely.

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  3. Nice writing - sort of has a lyric quality to it. Pretty descriptions. I want to know what happens next!! Does the elixir work??

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  4. Uh-oh, I have a bad feeling about that door swinging shut!

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  5. This was very romantic. I like the idea of an undying love. Mine is #72

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  6. I'm a sucker for true love. But, I don't have a good feeling about the bell and slamming door. Eek.

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  7. Ah! Believe it or not, but the fairytale has a major soft spot for me. And you pulled it off well!

    Great job, Mary! Following. :)

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  8. Loved it, Mary. Very poignant. I can’t wait to read your next challenge. I wish I would have found you sooner so I could have signed up too!

    Michelle
    www.michelle-pickett.com/blog

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  9. Mary, I loved this! So beautifully written!

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  10. So does it work? Very pretty descriptions.

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