Hear ye, hear ye, good citizens of Realmsdom. Welcome to Realms Faire 2014 and the Stockade Brigade, Word Wizards on Trial event.
To learn more about the Realms Faire, please visit the Realms Faire headquarters HERE.
To cast your eyes on the amazing and stupendous Realms Faire Giveaways, go HERE.
Huzzah to our sponsors of this most entertaining event - thou canst locate them near the end of the scroll HERE.
Ye Olde Realms Trial Rules.
Prithee remember the rules lest ye find thyself sent to the stockade:
1. The throwing of sticks or stones or anything resembling fecal matter, while amusing and entertaining, shall not be allowed during these trials.
2. Spitting upon our worthy guests or other citizens, while understandable in some circumstances, is strictly forbidden.
3. Ye witnesses for the accused shalt use ye best Olde English whilst crafting your comments. Said wordsmithing shall earn you high points with the wenches and blokes and with me, the Sheriff of Realmsdom and bestower of gifts.
4. Each prisoner shall offer a bribe, forgive me, I mean a token of their thanks to one eloquent wordsmithing witness per day.
5. As Sheriff of Realmsdom, I shall be offering a $25 Amazon gift card and one of my e-books (winner’s choice) as reward for the most eloquent wordsmithing witness of the week.
6. HENCE, ye must comment to win!
Let the trials begin!
*Sheriff Mary unrolls the scroll* Here ye good people of Realmsdom. Before you stands Lady HK Carlton, of the shire of Canada, currently a guest of ye olde Realmsdom Stockade Brigade, courtesy of her highness, Lady Mary Pax, and overseen by me, Lady Mary, the honorable Sheriff of Realms.
It has been alleged that the Lady HK has attempted to impersonate this very court by allowing her characters to convene a hearing alike to those held in ye olde Realmsdom Stockade. See for yourself that it be true.
“What have you to say, Lady Marschand? Have you naught to say in your own defence? Will
you have your husband try to sway me with his influence?” King Edward said in French.
Gard repeated the king’s words to her in English.
Brae leaned toward Gard. “Am I ta speak in English or Gaelic?”
“English,” he responded.
“I be Lady MonteClaire,” she began by correcting his inaccuracy. Brae believed he could
understand her, but Piers did the same for him as Hudson and Gard did for her, relaying her
words.
The king bristled at the amendment.
“I am perhaps guilty of taking a man’s life. But it was in defence o’ mine own self. I was
attacked wit’oot provocation. I had na choice but ta defend meself. And I believe my
husband’s influence be more on this court than it be fer me."
Gard turned as two royal guards escorted Callum MacCrae into the proceedings. He looked a
little worse for wear, dirty, his hair messed but not half as bad as he would afterward when
Gard got his hands on him. They had a score to settle from way back and this just pushed the
limit.
“What is this, Edward?” Piers inquired, obviously unaware.
“Please tell the court who you are and what you know of the Lady Marschand’s activities in
Ross-shire.”
“Huh?”
“Yes, MacCrae tell us who you are and what you know of the lady’s activities,” Hudson
translated the French, adding in English, “And then prepare to meet your maker.”
“I be Callum MacCrae. Braelynn Galbraith, the new Lady Marschand,” he sneered, “and I were
once betrothed. During our betrothal it came ta my attention tha’ she be passin’ messages ta
and from the rebels loyal to Scotland.”
There was another collective gasp.
“Be this true, Lady Marschand? I may be able to overlook the death of some deviate that
prayed on women and committed such atrocities in my realm, and may or may not be loosely
related to the Comyns, but I cannot in all that is good, overlook treason.”
“’Tisna treason. Ye are no—”
“Brae!” Gard warned her gravely, twisting her arm painfully this time.
She pulled away from his grip and she pushed him in the chest as hard as she could, making
him step back. “If I am ta die I will do it as I have lived, Gard, the true and proud Scot tha’ I
be.”
Gard wondered if that was an affront to the way he lived his own life, all but hiding his
heritage while he sought his revenge, but he ignored it for now. “Ye willna die, I willna let it
happen!” he growled. “Ye arna helpin’ me. But ye canna provoke him.”
The king began to laugh. “I was sceptical at first, Marschand, when I heard that you had taken
a wife. I wondered what kind of woman would be able to stand up to you. Then I was advised
that you had stolen her and forced her to bed you, then wed you. I would see that you have
found one that can hold her own.”
“Aye, I am also truly blessed,” Gard, responded dryly.
“You are much suited as it would seem. Murderers both.”
Brae gasped. Gard refused to be distracted from the question at hand. “I would ask MacCrae if
he has any evidence besides his own supposition as to my wife’s alleged treachery.”
“I have na written proof, but I ken wha’ she was aboot. Ye can ask anaone back at Ross, e’en
me own wife as ta Mistress Galbraith’s whereaboots ana given day. She was fore’er on the
moors. Wha’ other dealings would she have ta be there? A gud and decent woman doesna
wander the moors alone. Wha’ other business would she be aboot?”
Have ye any evidence to offer in your defense Lady HK?
Please forgive me, your highness, Lady Mary Pax, and Lady Mary, the honorable Sheriff of Realms, and thee good people of Realmsdom. I can only plead ignorance and throw myself on the mercy of this court. I am but a lowly baird, a wordsmith, a teller of stories. I am unfamiliar with the laws of Realmsdom. In my country we are free to report upon events of such import. The Earl of Fife, Donnghardh Marschand MonteClaire, entrusted me to record his testament as to the proceedings concerning his good wife Lady Braelynn Marschand MonteClaire. It is an honoured position to be sure and one that I would have gravely suffered for if I were to deny Lord MonteClaire's command. I must speak softly and carefully, my dear ladies and ye good fold, for Lord MonteClaire's reputation is notorious in its brutality. For in these parts, he is known as... the Devil.
The devil ye say? Methinks mayhap he should be the one to stand in the stocks. Thank the good Lord that is not my decision to make. What say ye, good people of Realmsdom? Has Lady HK earned her freedom, or mayhap you would like to see the Lord MonteClaire stand in her stead. And what fine standing that would be…*fans self*…be sure to make your wishes known in the comments.
Further wordsmithing and witchery can be found betwixt the pages of THE DEVIL TAKE YOU. If the handsome rake on the cover be the devil, he could take me. Err, I mean, I would be sure to take him into custody to keep order in this fine shire.
I have a contemporary romantic suspense A SPELL IN PROVENCE about to be released by Áccent Press on December 19th. This was actually the first novel I completed after going on holiday in the South of France a few years ago, and later attending a very inspiring romance writing seminar organised by Calderdale Libraries in Yorkshire. I have since rewritten it twice!
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