Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Stockade Brigade~2014 Realms Faire~Day Three

Welcome to the Stockade Brigade. All week, selected authors shall be put in the stockades and brought on trial for word witchery/wizardry. Witnesses shall score points by testifying for or against the author’s crimes. Points will be scored by wordsmithing with their best Olde English afore 8 o’clock in the Eastern time. An e-book from the author on trial will be given away every day to the witness who scores the most points. A pair of e-books by the Sheriff and a gift card to Amazon will be awarded at the end of the week. Warrants for their arrests have already been issued. The Sheriff of Realmsdom will catch up with them all soon.

Hear ye, hear ye, good citizens of Realmsdom. Welcome to Realms Faire 2014 and the Stockade Brigade, Word Wizards on Trial event.

To learn more about the Realms Faire, please visit the Realms Faire headquarters HERE.

To cast your eyes on the amazing and stupendous Realms Faire Giveaways, go HERE

Huzzah to our sponsors of this most entertaining event - thou canst locate them near the end of the scroll HERE.

Ye Olde Realms Trial Rules. 

Prithee remember the rules lest ye find thyself sent to the stockade:

1. The throwing of sticks or stones or anything resembling fecal matter, while amusing and entertaining, shall not be allowed during these trials.

2. Spitting upon our worthy guests or other citizens, while understandable in some circumstances, is strictly forbidden.

3. Ye witnesses for the accused shalt use ye best Olde English whilst crafting your comments. Said wordsmithing shall earn you high points with the wenches and blokes and with me, the Sheriff of Realmsdom and bestower of gifts.

4. Each prisoner shall offer a bribe, forgive me, I mean a token of their thanks to one eloquent wordsmithing witness per day.

5. As Sheriff of Realmsdom, I shall be offering a $25 Amazon gift card and one of my e-books (winner’s choice) as reward for the most eloquent wordsmithing witness of the week.

6. HENCE, ye must comment to win!

Let the trials begin!

*Sheriff Mary unrolls the scroll* Here ye good people of Realmsdom. Before you stands Lady HK Carlton, of the shire of Canada, currently a guest of ye olde Realmsdom Stockade Brigade, courtesy of her highness, Lady Mary Pax, and overseen by me, Lady Mary, the honorable Sheriff of Realms.

It has been alleged that the Lady HK has attempted to impersonate this very court by allowing her characters to convene a hearing alike to those held in ye olde Realmsdom Stockade. See for yourself that it be true.

          “What have you to say, Lady Marschand? Have you naught to say in your own defence? Will
           you have your husband try to sway me with his influence?” King Edward said in French.
          Gard repeated the king’s words to her in English.
          Brae leaned toward Gard. “Am I ta speak in English or Gaelic?”

          “English,” he responded.

          “I be Lady MonteClaire,” she began by correcting his inaccuracy. Brae believed he could
          understand her, but Piers did the same for him as Hudson and Gard did for her, relaying her
          The king bristled at the amendment.

          “I am perhaps guilty of taking a man’s life. But it was in defence o’ mine own self. I was
          attacked wit’oot provocation. I had na choice but ta defend meself. And I believe my
          husband’s influence be more on this court than it be fer me."

          Gard turned as two royal guards escorted Callum MacCrae into the proceedings. He looked a
          little worse for wear, dirty, his hair messed but not half as bad as he would afterward when
          Gard got his hands on him. They had a score to settle from way back and this just pushed the

          “What is this, Edward?” Piers inquired, obviously unaware.

          “Please tell the court who you are and what you know of the Lady Marschand’s activities in


          “Yes, MacCrae tell us who you are and what you know of the lady’s activities,” Hudson
           translated the French, adding in English, “And then prepare to meet your maker.”

          “I be Callum MacCrae. Braelynn Galbraith, the new Lady Marschand,” he sneered, “and I were
          once betrothed. During our betrothal it came ta my attention tha’ she be passin’ messages ta
          and from the rebels loyal to Scotland.”

          There was another collective gasp.

          “Be this true, Lady Marschand? I may be able to overlook the death of some deviate that
          prayed on women and committed such atrocities in my realm, and may or may not be loosely
          related to the Comyns, but I cannot in all that is good, overlook treason.”

          “’Tisna treason. Ye are no—”

          “Brae!” Gard warned her gravely, twisting her arm painfully this time.

          She pulled away from his grip and she pushed him in the chest as hard as she could, making
          him step back. “If I am ta die I will do it as I have lived, Gard, the true and proud Scot tha’ I

          Gard wondered if that was an affront to the way he lived his own life, all but hiding his
          heritage while he sought his revenge, but he ignored it for now. “Ye willna die, I willna let it
          happen!” he growled. “Ye arna helpin’ me. But ye canna provoke him.”

          The king began to laugh. “I was sceptical at first, Marschand, when I heard that you had taken
          a wife. I wondered what kind of woman would be able to stand up to you. Then I was advised
          that you had stolen her and forced her to bed you, then wed you. I would see that you have
          found one that can hold her own.”

          “Aye, I am also truly blessed,” Gard, responded dryly.

          “You are much suited as it would seem. Murderers both.”

          Brae gasped. Gard refused to be distracted from the question at hand. “I would ask MacCrae if
          he has any evidence besides his own supposition as to my wife’s alleged treachery.”

          “I have na written proof, but I ken wha’ she was aboot. Ye can ask anaone back at Ross, e’en
          me own wife as ta Mistress Galbraith’s whereaboots ana given day. She was fore’er on the
          moors. Wha’ other dealings would she have ta be there? A gud and decent woman doesna
          wander the moors alone. Wha’ other business would she be aboot?”

Have ye any evidence to offer in your defense Lady HK?

Please forgive me, your highness, Lady Mary Pax, and Lady Mary, the honorable Sheriff of Realms, and thee good people of Realmsdom. I can only plead ignorance and throw myself on the mercy of this court. I am but a lowly baird, a wordsmith, a teller of stories. I am unfamiliar with the laws of Realmsdom. In my country we are free to report upon events of such import. The Earl of Fife, Donnghardh Marschand MonteClaire, entrusted me to record his testament as to the proceedings concerning his good wife Lady Braelynn Marschand MonteClaire. It is an honoured position to be sure and one that I would have gravely suffered for if I were to deny Lord MonteClaire's command. I must speak softly and carefully, my dear ladies and ye good fold, for Lord MonteClaire's reputation is notorious in its brutality. For in these parts, he is known as... the Devil.

The devil ye say? Methinks mayhap he should be the one to stand in the stocks. Thank the good Lord that is not my decision to make. What say ye, good people of Realmsdom? Has Lady HK earned her freedom, or mayhap you would like to see the Lord MonteClaire stand in her stead. And what fine standing that would be…*fans self*…be sure to make your wishes known in the comments.

Further wordsmithing and witchery can be found betwixt the pages of THE DEVIL TAKE YOU. If the handsome rake on the cover be the devil, he could take me. Err, I mean, I would be sure to take him into custody to keep order in this fine shire.


  1. It verily pains me to lay a fie upon on a mistress of the word, but she said it herself -- she does the devil's work. Prithee---off with her head! Fare the anon, Lady Mary.

    1. Alas, 'tis true. She does admit to workin' with the devil. I shall cast thy vote, Lady Nicki! Fare thee well!!

    2. Alas, sadly, choices with the devil arena given.

    3. Aye, Lady HK, the devil does not give choices. Especially the devil Gard :-)

  2. Alas it doth sadden me to swathe Lady Carlton in such fiery words of hell and damnation, but all ye who stand against her wicked ways stand on the side of the righteous and pure. Hear unto me these words - may the Devil take her blackened soul and rest her wizened body in peace.

    1. Condemned? Ye all say? Must be my fate.

    2. Do not give up hope, Lady HK. There are many hours before thy fate shall be determined.

  3. The speaking in tongues is mighty suspicious...

    1. Aye, that they be. But mayhap there is good reason to speak thusly.

    2. Well, T'is unanimous, Lady Mary and Sheriff Mary. I will endure my time in the stocks. And serve my time as the devil from Fife's scribe. May Gard take my soul and my pen and do as he sees fit with us both. (and I believe Sheriff Mary might do the same if in my pointed little shoes) :) If my wrists werena locked, I would raise a cuppa grog to the fine people o Realmsdom. I'll be sure to relay the hospitality afforded me to my countrymen when I return to my beloved Canadian shire. Huzzah!

    3. Huzzah! And take thee care while consorting with the devil known as Gard. *sigh* Gard. A better devil I've ne'er seen!

  4. Huzzahs and many thanks to all who cast your vote in this trial. The comments have been reviewed, and the winner of a copy of THE DEVIL TAKE YOU is...*drum roll*...Ellie Garrett! Congrats Ellie! Drop me a line with your e-mail so we can get your prize to you!


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