Friday, November 14, 2014

Stockade Brigade~2014 Realms Faire~Day Five

Welcome to the Stockade Brigade. All week, selected authors shall be put in the stockades and brought on trial for word witchery/wizardry. Witnesses shall score points by testifying for or against the author’s crimes. Points will be scored by wordsmithing with their best Olde English afore 8 o’clock in the Eastern time. An e-book from the author on trial will be given away every day to the witness who scores the most points. A pair of e-books by the Sheriff and a gift card to Amazon will be awarded at the end of the week. Warrants for their arrests have already been issued. The Sheriff of Realmsdom will catch up with them all soon.

Hear ye, hear ye, good citizens of Realmsdom. Welcome to Realms Faire 2014 and the Stockade Brigade, Word Wizards on Trial event.

To learn more about the Realms Faire, please visit the Realms Faire headquarters HERE.

To cast your eyes on the amazing and stupendous Realms Faire Giveaways, go HERE

Huzzah to our sponsors of this most entertaining event - thou canst locate them near the end of the scroll HERE.

Ye Olde Realms Trial Rules. 

Prithee remember the rules lest ye find thyself sent to the stockade:

1. The throwing of sticks or stones or anything resembling fecal matter, while amusing and entertaining, shall not be allowed during these trials.

2. Spitting upon our worthy guests or other citizens, while understandable in some circumstances, is strictly forbidden.

3. Ye witnesses for the accused shalt use ye best Olde English whilst crafting your comments. Said wordsmithing shall earn you high points with the wenches and blokes and with me, the Sheriff of Realmsdom and bestower of gifts.

4. Each prisoner shall offer a bribe, forgive me, I mean a token of their thanks to one eloquent wordsmithing witness per day.

5. As Sheriff of Realmsdom, I shall be offering a $25 Amazon gift card and one of my e-books (winner’s choice) as reward for the most eloquent wordsmithing witness of the week.

6. HENCE, ye must comment to win!

Let the trials begin!

*Sheriff Mary unrolls the scroll* Here ye good people of Realmsdom. Before you stands Lady Melissa Petreshock, of the shire of Kentucky, currently a guest of ye olde Realmsdom Stockade Brigade, courtesy of her highness, Lady Mary Pax, and overseen by me, Lady Mary, the honorable Sheriff of Realms.

A certain vampire who shall remain nameless *cough* King Corrin *cough* has filed accusations against the Lady Melissa that she has allowed the suitors in competition with him to collude together in an attempt to win the hand of Caitriona. He offered this conversation as his proof:

          “You told her?” Controlling my tone, I keep it even, measured, calm to a relative

          Dante leans back in the chair opposite me at the desk, crossing his legs. “It seemed
          prudent. She’s quite confused regarding the predicament she finds herself, Theo, and
          I know there is little you can tell a ward regarding your actions pertaining to their

          “And you felt it your duty to explain my involvement in your arrival.” It isn’t a question.
          I’m assessing what he has done, seeing the pieces of the chessboard, my ward’s
          paths, the endgame per se, and how this may affect her destiny, yet nothing appears

          “She responded favorably.” He’s quiet, distant. “I believe she may choose me.”

          Attempting not to scowl, I cross my arms over my chest. “The idea displeases you?” I
          cannot say it displeases me to think he may reject her, though she would feel pained.
          I’m feeling quite selfish regarding Cait, incomparable to any other ward.

          His attention returns to the conversation at hand. “On the contrary, I find myself
          unfathomably excited by the prospect. Caitriona remarked how my pursuit of
          knowledge is quite admirable, yet … somehow, in all this time I have never pursued
          an interest in love, and have failed to learn such a simple thing.”

          “I do not believe it is so simple for some of us, Dante.”​

Have ye any evidence to offer in your defense Lady Melissa?

Indeed so, Lady Mary. The valiant dragon, Theo, and noble demigod, Dante, seek not to
collude against his highness, King Corrin, only to provide Caitriona ample opportunity to choose a husband of her own free will and on the merits of greatest affection and pleasing company, perhaps even that of love.

Should the court be so obliging, I offer this evidence of Caitriona’s own opinion of the
vampire monarch, the troublesome predicament he hath forced upon her as an unwanted suitor:

          No offense to the vampire as our monarch, but King Corrin behaves like a pompous
          womanizer, treating them as his personal playthings from everything I’ve heard. It’s
          disgusting the way he uses them, the way he uses anyone to his advantage, and I
          want no part of it, to be another conquest.

          I’m not denying he’s gorgeous, but beauty is only skin-deep. Twisted sycophant goes
          to the bone.

If ye not be swayed by that alone, I hold evidence of words King Corrin spoke to his brother, further giving reason for Theo and Dante, as honorable men, to desire any means to
protect Caitriona from his wicked ways:

          “Nothing changed. I have no desire to take anyone as my wife, no desire to marry at
          all, but Caitriona Hayden suits the position of wife to a monarch well enough. I find it
          doubtful other candidates shall present themselves so readily.”

With such clear intent to use the young lady Caitriona, dare I speaketh the words, Lady Mary, but perhaps it is King Corrin who should be in the stockade?

What say ye, good people of Realmsdom? Shall Lady Melissa be placed in the stockade, or should King Corrin take her place for lodging false claims against his mistress? Cast your ballot in the comments below.

For those needing more evidence, thou shalt surely find it betwixt the pages of FIRE OF STARS AND DRAGONS. My very blood heats at the thought of those Pendragon men, er... dragons, er... handsome devils. I advise you to read it and see for yerself!


  1. In the stocks with King Corrin in the Lady Melissa's stead, I sayeth! (hides behind Sheriff) *whisper* Have ye any garlic, Sheriff Mary?

    1. Alas, my good Lady HK, but I have no garlic with me today. Although, I believe the Lady Melissa would tell you that garlic 'tis naught but an old wive's tale.

  2. Indeed love be not simple. I smell witchery around here...

    1. Witchery or a cruel joke of the gods 'tis for sure.

  3. Lady Melissa has been unjustly accused. She has not conspired against King Corrin, but has only sought to give Lady Caitriona adequate opportunity to find happiness. If anyone amongst this party deserves to be in the stocks, it is the King.

    1. Aye, my lady Jen, I can clearly see that that be the case.

  4. Huzzah and well met! 'Tis my honor as Sheriff to announce that Lady HK is the winner of today's prize. Many congratulations to this very lucky lady! Huzzah!

  5. What a fun idea! I'd put the King in the stockade!

    1. Many thanks, Lady Kathryn. The lovely Lady Mary Pax is the one to be credited for such a fun week. 'Tis pleased I am that you visited with us.


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