So, here is my outline for Chapter 7:
Sabrina goes into house. Smells of home envelope her in welcoming embrace. Large open room with large table, stairs to right (bedrooms), and door at back (kitchen). Mom comes through the kitchen door and sees her.
“Bas said you had a guest, where is he?”
Trevor walks in. Greets mother- kisses hand. Seth appears, dad is fishing. Seth takes Trevor out to him.
“Nothing. Rough passage.”
“May not be your mother, but know you as well as all my children. Something else is wrong.”
Bas appears and informs of trip to Delphine. Sabrina gives him evil eye. Mom says she doesn't have to go. Sabrina looks at Trevor and says, yes, she does.
Trevor watches family interactions during dinner. Happy exchanges. Bas is to clear table and Seth do dishes. Seth complains, Trevor offers to do dishes with Sabrina if Bas and Seth clear. Objection made by father, overruled by Trevor and Sabrina. They wash dishes. She's surprised. He informs all soldiers know how to do dishes. Soap sud fight? Some kind of cliffhanger about who she is, or trip-- maybe something about traveling to Delphine in 1 day instead of 2.
Hmmm. Where do I go from here?
Her comments on TLP have been spot on and very helpful.
Fiona's story is progressing nicely. I can't tell you how amazed I am at her ability to describe things so perfectly with so few words. I really feel for Lana and want to see how she grows as the story progresses.
Her comments have opened my eyes to how Americanized I write. In one of my chapters I mentioned Fall-didn't think anything of it until Fiona mentioned it should be Autumn-- fall is an American saying.
How about you? Are your fantasy stories "Americanized"? Does your partner have an amazing talent you want to share? Toast them in the comments!